I can’t decide if I am Larry David or if the man next to me today was Larry David. Either way I felt I saw him passing by me in a frantic moment of anger and humility as I committed the big no no while working out at my health club this morning. Sure there are signs that say no cell phone use. Ya. Whatever. I had my earphones on. Plugged into my iphone. My iphone is not only a cell phone. It’s an ipod, internet browser, email checker, map finder, note taker, meat cutter, finger print kit, cholesterol measurer, ovulation kit, medicine dispenser, candy machine, beer tap—OKAY YOU GET MY POINT. It does many things. It’s not just for being a phone ho.
So yes, I ADMIT I was speaking to another person on the phone while I was working out. I have to multi-task my busy life–even if it means breaking a rule at the health club. Doesn’t mean I would talk on my cell phone in the movie theater or in a restaurant. I do possess some minor etiquette traits. But a health club? Where machines are whirring and making lots of noise? Where a woman on my other side is talking loudly to her friend next to her while she is working out? What’s the difference?
As I was getting off my phone the man on my right gets off his machine and tells me I should be talking outside on my phone and blah blah blah which means as soon as I saw the finger wagging and his condescending voice lecturing me he became Charlie Brown’s teacher and I didn’t hear another word. I smiled and nodded as he walked away and out of nowhere I heard myself say something on the sarcastic side. I guess I was naughty this morning. I should have told him I was a paranoid schitzophrenic talking to myself.
For all I know, he might be the owner. He wasn’t wearing a uniform or anything. No soup for me!
Below, is kind of a funny clip from my favorite show Curb Your Enthusiasm. I had such a Larry David morning. Except I wasn’t Larry David. I was the bluetooth fella I guess. Too bad the man next to me didn’t do what Larry did.
Warning: Language is on this clip. Not advised for young children to hear this.