Should be thanking me for all my patronage. I have invested quite a bit in Apple products the past year or so. I have purchased a MacBook Pro notebook, cinema display monitor, software, external hard drive, ipod accessories and of course an Iphone. Well, how about two iphones? There is nothing more hilarious than going to a workshop of other photographers and seeing everyone playing on their Iphones. You could always spot a true Iphoneaholic. My biggest fear was realized today. Don’t continue reading this if you gross out easily. My iphone which always sits in my back pocket of my skinny jeans (those low waisted show your crack at every opportunity whether you want to or not) fell out of the back pocket as I was getting up from the—um–well–you know—commode and fell in with a loud kerplunk. I cried out in agony “NOT AGAIN!” as when I was pregnant with my second child over 7 years ago I did the same thing to a Nextel. At least back then it was my company’s phone and they replaced it at no cost to me. This, however was MY beloved Iphone. The greatest thing invented since sliced bread–I adore my Iphone. I worshipped my Iphone–it made me spiritual and giddy while I surfed the net and texted and did everything imaginable on it. It did everything for me and there it lay in a pool of water and other unmentionable liquid as I fished it out as fast as possible. I cleaned it as best as I could. It still worked! Part of me was ecstatic and the other part of me grossed out that it had been swimming in the potty which held my potty. It kept giving me a message saying that something was not functioning correctly and did I want to turn on the airport mode–WHAT?–no way–I drove to the AT and T store and embarrassingly mumbled to the employee that I needed a new iphone. Why? “Cause it fell in the toilet” I mumbled. It what? ” IT FELL IN THE TOILET” I said clearly. The employee’s eyes grew wide and she stepped back as if my spoiled phone was going to infect her with some disease. I felt like George Costanza trying to return his $100 book that they wouldn’t take back because it had been in the bathroom. I was instructed to go to the Apple store where they could try and repair it. I jumped into my car and headed over to the Apple store. The place that has taken so much of my money this past year. At least the employees are nice and sympathetic over there. They told me to make an appointment with the Genius Bar for tomorrow and they will swap my phone for another for ONLY $249. Why is that? Cause they take your phone and give you a refurbished one. Great. So you are going to take my phone that fell into the toilet and fix it to give to someone else and for $249 I can get another refurbished Iphone that has probably also been dropped in the toilet and most likely in a toilet full of #$%$%#$? No thank you. Please show me where the brand new Iphones are. By now my current Iphone is going schiztoid and not even working correctly. So, now I have a brand new Iphone. Here I was so happy I paid less for my phone when Apple lowered the prices and now….well now I have paid what the original folks paid to get the Iphone when it first came out. Brilliant. All you Apple shareholders….YOU ARE WELCOME!!!!!
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